Forgetful Fridays..

Right now I have spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove... don't let me forget to stir it.. OK? It smells FANTASTIC and may detract from this post.

This weeks posts will be things I want to forget.. forever.

That nerve wracking feeling I used to get all the time with Papa driving a big truck on the road and he'd be late.. and I'd be sure he wasn't coming back. But he would. Every single time. With a smile and a kiss for me.

The hurt/anger/confusion/shock/pain of not knowing and not being able to conceive our first child.. took us 3 years of pain, heartache and stress. Of not knowing why or when or if ever. Of seeing others who conceived without plan or knowledge or trying at all.

The scorn of a 'friend' 'person' 'human'. The pain of not being good enough. Not good enough to fight for, or make it work, talk about it,  understand, or care anymore... being lied too and humiliated and not worth someones effort/time/love/friendship.  The knowing of being used by someone who takes advantage of you. Just. Because. They. Can.

Watching Papa walk the ridge pole of our trusses, no tin, not fully supported, 40 feet off the ground. In his boots. Just little squares of truss tops every 2 feet apart. Heart stopping. What can I say, the man apparently has more lives then a cat!! (Even though I must admit my heart went wild in a exhilarating way when I thought of that moment. It was exciting I'll give him that!! I'm just more of a 'oh what if he falls and breaks his neck' kind of person where Papa is more of a 'neat look what I can do!' kind of person.)

The loss of a relationship of a child. I love kids. I love to see them change and grow and though I may not show it in ways people see I just love them. Some of my biggest regrets are the children I knew that I no longer see. Children I thought I would see grow up, change, speak, interact with others. I miss them and what could have been. Children I'll never know like my sisters late term still born. I wonder how she would have fit in the family. Who she would have looked like. What she would have been like. Who's world she would have changed.

As I've been typing I've been thinking about forgetting. I'm wrong. I don't want to forget these things. Even if I did forget these things there would always be in me the lesson I learned or the grace that God gave me to live every day. The part of me that wants to forget is the part that still hurts. J is 9 this year.. 10 years ago we dealt with infertility. TEN YEARS!!! That's a long time!! The pain isn't as sharp as it was.. how could it be with 6 kids roaming around in my heart. But I still remember the pain of not being able. Of big mouthed doctors and tests and herbs and surgery and being told.. your 19 you can't possibly have trouble with pregnancy!! The pain of knowing each and every month that I failed, my body, my husband, my self with every negative test. But we learned so much. About each other, ourselves, our motives, our plan for the future, our trust in Him who made us and has a plan for us. Without that time I'm not sure we'd be here, now, doing what we are doing. What we believe God called us to do.. raise our family, live our lives with purpose.


Lessons learned are what I hope to remember.. a person is only as good as their word. Pain now may mean freedom with God later. Trust is shaken but the love is there. Bitterness is really hard to get rid of, try not to store it up. Freedom comes in many forms. Sometimes life is better lived apart. Pain never ends. Hormones can really take your imagination for a ride.. :) Never give all of yourself.. others don't treat your heart like you would, even if they say they will. Rarely do people actually think before they talk, don't take it to heart. I'm not 100% sure but I think maybe pain only lives on if you feed it. Sometimes it turns into bitterness, and needs to be dealt with by forgiving those who caused it. 

Papa used to tease me and say 'a man is an island' and I'd laugh and wonder. Now I think about it and wish we were an island. Our family, our farm, our lives. I imagine it would be free from scorn, disinterest, hate, disapproval and pain. It wouldn't be. I know that. My heart and my mind.. but sometimes it's nice to dream..

In case you were wondering I turned the sauce off awhile ago.. it still smells fantastic and I wanted to keep it that way :) 

This is more of me then I normally give, but I guess that was a bit of the point. Humans all of us.

 Every. Single. One. Of. Us. Is. A. Person.

 DON'T FORGET IT!!! 

What you feel others feel too. 

I always love those charming proverbs, but can never remember them. So I made this one up :)   

May the sun shine on your face,

 May the rain be warm,

  May your heart swell with love of our Creator,

   May your life never be empty of the good that can be found in this world.

    And May you remember that this world is not our home. We are just passing through. 

 It's never to late to love as Christ loved us. 

Good night. 

Birth Junkie :)

Yay!! I'm so excited!! Papa picked up the mail on his way to work and brought me a package with my 5 week formula in it from Birth Junkie!! I can't wait to try it and see if MAYBE just MAYBE I'll actually go into labor without having to be induced. Wouldn't that be fantastic!?! Hey and maybe I'll have a baby before I hit 42 weeks :) or 43 ;)

She also has a GREAT list of pregnancy birthing books on her website that she recommends. I love the list and have read several of them and I'm hoping to read several more before this baby comes.

 I'm a birth junkie too :) Are you??

Thankful Thursdays :)

Haha I remembered :)

Today I'm thankful for...

Being 20 weeks into this pregnancy, which means only 22 weeks until we get to meet this new child face to face. (Yes I know pregnancies normally run to 40 weeks, but mine are always 42 :) )

For my new 4 slice toaster. SO NICE to make toast in the morning now :)

For an over due visit with B&B :) 7 Months is WAY to long!! Come back soon!!

For a schedule. For school, for chores, for everyday living. It's so nice to have a plan!!

For the 4 day weekend that Papa has coming up :) YAY!!!

For kids who love our life like we do.

For Papa... all he is and all he does :) I LOVE YOU!!!



And the 'off' one for today is.. for sour milk... (Pun intended :))

The Littlest Griggs :)

Here is our newest family member :) 

Papa and I headed to the city to our ultrasound appointment on Monday and got some pictures and some other great information on the littlest Griggs :) 

The baby is healthy, whole, wiggly and looks pretty perfect :) 

Papa and I both guessed the sex of the baby wrong!! I'm always wrong but I was surprised Papa was. 

The kids all guessed right as did 3/4 of the other people who guessed!! 

********Disclaimer. Do NOT look below if you do NOT want to know the sex of the Baby or what we have named the baby. The picture on the bottom is the same as the one on top.*****************

The newest littlest Griggs is A BOY :) and his name will be Samuel :) We will tell you his middle names (2) when he's born :) But for now meet Samuel Griggs :)

Forgetful Fridays.

I had this idea for these posts this morning as I find I do a lot of my posting is later in the week and maybe MAYBE if I have a regular Friday post I will not feel behind all week. SO I'm going to try it for a little bit and see if I can get back into the habit of blogging. It's going to be a hodge podge of things I think.

The reason I choose Forgetful Friday as the title is because I keep forgetting to do my Thankful Thursdays on Thursday and almost always remember Friday morning. Since the idea has been in my head though I've had several other ideas come to me. Things I want to forget. Things I need to forget. Things I never want to forget. Things I can do to remember.. like actually blogging :)

Today's post is going to be things I want to remember.

The smell of a newborn. The feel of a new baby in your arms.

The wonderful feeling of relief when you push that last time and feel the baby slide out into the world.

The way my girls hair smells after a shower.

The crinkly eye squint J3 does, that I can never catch on camera, when he's thinking he's pretty darn cute.

The way I can feel all my troubles leave me when Papa and I cuddle :)

The way E and G both snore the minute they fall asleep.

The way L concentrates over a book or picture. Forehead lined in concentration.

The wonderful alive feeling of a warm wind in the spring.

G hugging so tight when she's not quite awake or comfortable.

The last few miles before home on a long trip.

The way J laughs when something strikes him as super funny.

The satisfaction of a job done right.

The delight on a child's face when they understand something new.

Papa's quick giggle when I manage to tickle him. Unrestrained and unguarded.

The shock and wonder of that very first positive pregnancy test.

Some strangers face as they count kids in the truck and their face LIGHTS UP with a huge smile.

The way R makes friends with a smile and a giggle.

What's your list? This is only a touch of mine. Find a way to remember the good things. It's worth it.

J's Birthday.

I can't believe he is NINE ALREADY!!!! 

Making the filling for his blackberry pie.. 1st one for him and for me :)

Thank you Grandma G and Auntie R for your wonderful long distance help :)

Rolling out the top. 

Papa lighting himself on fire.. oh wait those are matches.. 9 of them.

 Apparently pie can't have candles??

Just after J blew them out.. it was a little bit of a rush job as Papa's fingers were getting a little bit warm. LOL. Crazy man!! 

J and his pie and cool  plates (I love American Walmart!!)

The favorite gift :) 

A watch.. someone around here figured someone in the family should have the time on them at all times and no it wasn't me :) 

 Neither Papa or I wear a watch. He breaks his, mine scratches kids heads and annoys me. 

A cool computerized chess board that actually helps you play better :) 

New shirts from Grandma F. Looked WAY to big on him.. fit him perfectly. Yeah. 

Happy Birthday J!!! 

Thankful Thursdays. Jan 24th/13

Ah well it's been a long day and there is still a fire to stock and a cow to milk. So this will be brief. Apparently I'm also having trouble typing... I guess my nap earlier didn't do me as much good as I'd hoped. It's 9:25 pm. Kids are in bed, G is still chattering and kicking her feet. We've recently found if we leave their bedroom door open she is much happier at bedtime and will go to sleep with much less fuss and carrying on. This is suppose to be a thankful post so I'll tell you about my day and why I'm thankful for pretty much every minute of it.

I woke up 3 minutes early. I almost never set the alarm but yesterday I did. I really didn't want to be running late today. I got up, filled the stove with wood, made myself a cup of coffee, did my morning devo's and checked my email and FB. Then after a glass of water, granola bar, banana and shower I jumped in the car to go to my doctors appointment. I left the house, alone, at 9:20. By 12 I'd seen the doctor; both baby and I are fine (heart rate was 135), had blood drawn, read a good chunk of my book while I waited in various places and eaten a Teen burger.. fulfilling a craving I've had since Tuesday. :) I was going to get a chocolate shake to go with it but they don't sell them this time of year?? It must only be crazy pregnant ladies who want a milkshake when it's - 5 or what ever it was outside.  What is with that.?. for sure a good thing though if you talk to Papa :) or know me much at all.

I got home and found my wonderful hubby working hard on the house... The way he was half asleep when I left I half expected the kids to still be playing and him to be in bed. Instead they'd had, and cleaned up, breakfast and had even done their morning chores!! Impressed!! Papa and I chatted out in the house for a bit and caught each other up on happenings and got a few little things done while we were there.

Papa went to work a little while later and as the big kids were happily playing outside in the snow, I fed the little 3 a snack and got them ready for naps. Big kids came in, did an hour of school while I sat with R and J and had myself a little rest while making sure they napped. Then the bigs put leftovers together for their lunch, ate and cleaned it up and went back to school, while I did some laundry and some prep for some school stuff I'm hoping to do tomorrow. Bigs finished school. Little's got up from naps. Play time!! And nap time for me. I set the alarm on my ipad but it didn't wake me up. I woke up to E screaming with a bump on her head. I needed to get up anyway. We worked together and cleaned all the floors. Very nice!

Supper was a salad with beef roast, hard boiled eggs, crackers, Ranch for the kids and Blue cheese for me. Kids ate theirs with 'Animals Are Beautiful People' and I ate mine with "The Nanny" on Netflix in the entrance... the only place I can get a good enough connection to watch Netflix.

After everyone got ready for bed J read them a chapter in a Robin Hood book he enjoys. I picked out the kids new reading assignments for the morning, we prayed together, gave hugs and kisses.. and I went into the entrance to finish the Nanny I'd put on hold. Now I'm here at the computer. Typing slowly so my fingers don't have to re do every word more then once!! Oh wait.. I ate a very yummy chocolate my wonderful sister in law sent me up for Christmas.. I still have half the bowl as I've been hording them for those moments when you just NEED a fine chocolate. My oh my are they fine!!

I got a few things done today that needed doing and a few I put off for another day. I washed and hung a load of laundry. Washed another load and dried it. They are both still either drying or sitting on the chair in the living room. I got my regular clothes out of my dresser and in a tote and my newly found mat clothes in the dresser. I got the load of girls 24 month clothes, that had previously been stored in the bus in a black plastic bag that I washed and hung to dry yesterday, in a tote. Which has been on my to do list for ages.. but I didn't have any empty totes and I found one :) I started my 'puzzle swap.' An idea that Papa's mom does with hers. You cut the top pictures off the puzzle boxes and one of the little pictures off the side of the box. Then you put the puzzle pieces in a ziplock bag with the little picture and store the big picture in a tote with the bags of puzzles. I plan on doing all our puzzles as it's a great space saver!! But alas I ran out of ziplocks a while a go so I could only do those puzzles that were already in ziplocks. I also played with J3, cuddled with R, chatted with E, helped L with a problem, listened to J and played with G... she is walking quite well now and she loves it if you pretend she's scary and run away while she's walking at you. So I must say all in all it was a GOOD day. And now I must go milk Miss Isabel.. while checking FB :) Oh and I have a date with a large cup of tea :) and a book after that.

So good night all!! Hope you had as Thankful of a Thursday as we did :)

Marshmallows And Toothpick Creations.

J with his shapes :) 

L with his shapes. 

L with his creation. I think it was a house. 

E with her shapes.

E with her train creation!! 

The BEST part of making shapes with marshmallows and toothpicks is....

You get to eat the marshmallows when your done!! 

Cool Hair Dude!!

J3 went outside recently in our unusually warm weather. He got so warm with his hat on it made his hair wet and when I took off his hat his hair did this!! He wasn't very happy about me taking his picture. His hair stayed that way all day long!! 

Super COOL DUDE!!! 

Weights and Measures 2013

We've started a new tradition this last year. After running out of room on our measuring wall I decided to make a new wall by the kids bedroom door and only measure on J's birthday. All the kids. Once a year. Simple. And BONUS I remembered!! After we oohhhed and ahhed over them L and I measured them out for you and we weighed everyone too :) So here you go.

Kid stats.

J is 53.5 inches tall and weights 95 lbs.
L is 47 inches tall and weights 53 lbs.
E is 43.5 inches tall and weights 40 lbs.
R is 39.5 inches tall and weights 31 lbs.
J3 is 36 inches tall and weights 32 lbs.
G is 26.5 inches tall and weights 18 lbs.

J grew 2.5 inches and gained 25 lbs. We are pretty sure he's using all that poundage to spike up again soon.. he's slowed down eating since his birthday and is sleeping more. Growth spurt coming up! Time to go buy him some more pants!! Because he just turned 9, post to follow soon, he is now officially out of his booster seat!!

L grew 2.5 inches and gained 8 lbs.

E grew 2 3/4 inches and gained 5 lbs. She is now in a booster seat!!! YAY!!!

R grew 3 inches... and gained 3 lbs. Seriously.

J3 grew 4 inches and gained 4 lbs. FOUR INCHES!!!

G grew a lot :) She was 8.4 at birth 2 months before these numbers were written. So she gained about 9 lbs and 6 inches.

Here is one I did a couple of years ago.. just for fun.