HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Gingerbread Smash :)

I know, I know this should have been done ages ago, but I thought better late then never :)

Uncle D and Auntie A and O and K joined us for our gingerbread smash this year!! 

G made a very half hearted attack... mostly she just liked the idea of hitting it. 

K knows how to do it!! I love the kids faces!! 

L about to hit it! The boy hit the boy house and the girls hit the girl house. 

O did most of the damage and J finished it off!! 

Forgetful Fridays. March 22.

I think everyone who lives in the North has a selective memory. Wait hear me out. I know I have a selective memory.. Every summer/fall/winter I choose to forget how long it really takes for Spring to come to the North. My sister in law posted on FB yesterday that work she planted peas and got some rows ready for corn. Here are some pictures of our place I took yesterday afternoon... about the same time, as it turns out, she was planting peas. 

The yard. 

Looking into the place.

Looking out down the driveway. 

The plow line.. that lump in the middle there is one of my raised beds....

J on a pile of plowed snow.

L on his 'ship' making a railing beside his captains chair.

OH and this is what it looks like in the summer.....Oh I can't wait to see green again!!  

Forgetful Friday :) March 9th/13

My kids have been sick with a stomach bug the last several days. I have to say I'd rather have sick BIG kids then sick LITTLE kids.

Big kids throw up INTO the bucket!

Little kids throw up where ever they happen to be: bed, couch, you name it.

Big kids dump and rinse their puke bucket.

Littles play in their puke until you remove them from the mess and clean it up.

Big kids can tell you what they feel like eating, and often keep it down.

Little kids eat whatever and then puke.

Big kids will sit and watch a whole movie and remember that they are sick and should rest at the end of the movie.

Littles watch a movie, start playing, wear them selves totally out and do more harm then good to their healing bodies.

Bigs complain about how sick they are.

Littles mostly just look sick. Very little verbal whining. (Mine anyway)

Bigs understand why a little water at a time is good for you when your sick...as opposed to drinking a whole cup full and throwing it right back up.

Littles fall asleep anywhere when sick, I just took a sleeping G out of her high chair and transferred her to her bed, super cute!

So things to remember and things to forget today.

L is a sympathy puker, anyone pukes and L turns his head away and leaves the room. Just like me. Papa is the puke cleaner upper around here.

Once when E was much smaller and had the runs she pooped out of her pull up and made a mess on the living room rug. She and L had been playing together and he saw her mess and made an even bigger one of his own. Thank goodness for steam cleaners! The funniest thing about that story is that my uncle R was over with his son and he thought it was the funniest thing ever and went out side and laughed and laughed and laughed.

Forgetful Fridays..

Right now I have spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove... don't let me forget to stir it.. OK? It smells FANTASTIC and may detract from this post.

This weeks posts will be things I want to forget.. forever.

That nerve wracking feeling I used to get all the time with Papa driving a big truck on the road and he'd be late.. and I'd be sure he wasn't coming back. But he would. Every single time. With a smile and a kiss for me.

The hurt/anger/confusion/shock/pain of not knowing and not being able to conceive our first child.. took us 3 years of pain, heartache and stress. Of not knowing why or when or if ever. Of seeing others who conceived without plan or knowledge or trying at all.

The scorn of a 'friend' 'person' 'human'. The pain of not being good enough. Not good enough to fight for, or make it work, talk about it,  understand, or care anymore... being lied too and humiliated and not worth someones effort/time/love/friendship.  The knowing of being used by someone who takes advantage of you. Just. Because. They. Can.

Watching Papa walk the ridge pole of our trusses, no tin, not fully supported, 40 feet off the ground. In his boots. Just little squares of truss tops every 2 feet apart. Heart stopping. What can I say, the man apparently has more lives then a cat!! (Even though I must admit my heart went wild in a exhilarating way when I thought of that moment. It was exciting I'll give him that!! I'm just more of a 'oh what if he falls and breaks his neck' kind of person where Papa is more of a 'neat look what I can do!' kind of person.)

The loss of a relationship of a child. I love kids. I love to see them change and grow and though I may not show it in ways people see I just love them. Some of my biggest regrets are the children I knew that I no longer see. Children I thought I would see grow up, change, speak, interact with others. I miss them and what could have been. Children I'll never know like my sisters late term still born. I wonder how she would have fit in the family. Who she would have looked like. What she would have been like. Who's world she would have changed.

As I've been typing I've been thinking about forgetting. I'm wrong. I don't want to forget these things. Even if I did forget these things there would always be in me the lesson I learned or the grace that God gave me to live every day. The part of me that wants to forget is the part that still hurts. J is 9 this year.. 10 years ago we dealt with infertility. TEN YEARS!!! That's a long time!! The pain isn't as sharp as it was.. how could it be with 6 kids roaming around in my heart. But I still remember the pain of not being able. Of big mouthed doctors and tests and herbs and surgery and being told.. your 19 you can't possibly have trouble with pregnancy!! The pain of knowing each and every month that I failed, my body, my husband, my self with every negative test. But we learned so much. About each other, ourselves, our motives, our plan for the future, our trust in Him who made us and has a plan for us. Without that time I'm not sure we'd be here, now, doing what we are doing. What we believe God called us to do.. raise our family, live our lives with purpose.


Lessons learned are what I hope to remember.. a person is only as good as their word. Pain now may mean freedom with God later. Trust is shaken but the love is there. Bitterness is really hard to get rid of, try not to store it up. Freedom comes in many forms. Sometimes life is better lived apart. Pain never ends. Hormones can really take your imagination for a ride.. :) Never give all of yourself.. others don't treat your heart like you would, even if they say they will. Rarely do people actually think before they talk, don't take it to heart. I'm not 100% sure but I think maybe pain only lives on if you feed it. Sometimes it turns into bitterness, and needs to be dealt with by forgiving those who caused it. 

Papa used to tease me and say 'a man is an island' and I'd laugh and wonder. Now I think about it and wish we were an island. Our family, our farm, our lives. I imagine it would be free from scorn, disinterest, hate, disapproval and pain. It wouldn't be. I know that. My heart and my mind.. but sometimes it's nice to dream..

In case you were wondering I turned the sauce off awhile ago.. it still smells fantastic and I wanted to keep it that way :) 

This is more of me then I normally give, but I guess that was a bit of the point. Humans all of us.

 Every. Single. One. Of. Us. Is. A. Person.

 DON'T FORGET IT!!! 

What you feel others feel too. 

I always love those charming proverbs, but can never remember them. So I made this one up :)   

May the sun shine on your face,

 May the rain be warm,

  May your heart swell with love of our Creator,

   May your life never be empty of the good that can be found in this world.

    And May you remember that this world is not our home. We are just passing through. 

 It's never to late to love as Christ loved us. 

Good night. 

Forgetful Fridays.

I had this idea for these posts this morning as I find I do a lot of my posting is later in the week and maybe MAYBE if I have a regular Friday post I will not feel behind all week. SO I'm going to try it for a little bit and see if I can get back into the habit of blogging. It's going to be a hodge podge of things I think.

The reason I choose Forgetful Friday as the title is because I keep forgetting to do my Thankful Thursdays on Thursday and almost always remember Friday morning. Since the idea has been in my head though I've had several other ideas come to me. Things I want to forget. Things I need to forget. Things I never want to forget. Things I can do to remember.. like actually blogging :)

Today's post is going to be things I want to remember.

The smell of a newborn. The feel of a new baby in your arms.

The wonderful feeling of relief when you push that last time and feel the baby slide out into the world.

The way my girls hair smells after a shower.

The crinkly eye squint J3 does, that I can never catch on camera, when he's thinking he's pretty darn cute.

The way I can feel all my troubles leave me when Papa and I cuddle :)

The way E and G both snore the minute they fall asleep.

The way L concentrates over a book or picture. Forehead lined in concentration.

The wonderful alive feeling of a warm wind in the spring.

G hugging so tight when she's not quite awake or comfortable.

The last few miles before home on a long trip.

The way J laughs when something strikes him as super funny.

The satisfaction of a job done right.

The delight on a child's face when they understand something new.

Papa's quick giggle when I manage to tickle him. Unrestrained and unguarded.

The shock and wonder of that very first positive pregnancy test.

Some strangers face as they count kids in the truck and their face LIGHTS UP with a huge smile.

The way R makes friends with a smile and a giggle.

What's your list? This is only a touch of mine. Find a way to remember the good things. It's worth it.